MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL ON THIS BEAUTIFUL EARTH! MAKE IT MERRY OR ELSE!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Y'all Know It's Christmas!
I LOVE CHRISTMAS! It doesn't matter that my family don't celebrate it that much, all I know is that whenever Christmas comes, I'm a happy kid. I love the lights, I love the Christmas trees, I love all forms of Christmas decorations and I love most the spirit of Christmas! So spread the love, spread the joy and spread the laughter!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Legend
Irish legend has it that at the end of every rainbow, there lies a pot of gold. So elusive is that pot of gold though that nonone has ever found it.
I would however, like to claim that I have found the pot of gold. The gold not in gold form but rather I found it in the form of people. For all those who have listened to me rant on and on about things, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I understand that I'm not the only one going through things so it is truly kind of you all to sit there and listen to me go on about things that you shouldn't worry about.
We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.
If I cannot repay all your kindness, I hope to pass it on to others who need it.
I would however, like to claim that I have found the pot of gold. The gold not in gold form but rather I found it in the form of people. For all those who have listened to me rant on and on about things, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I understand that I'm not the only one going through things so it is truly kind of you all to sit there and listen to me go on about things that you shouldn't worry about.
We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.
If I cannot repay all your kindness, I hope to pass it on to others who need it.
 | ||
| I think I love leprechauns because they're so green. |
Friday, December 17, 2010
Finger
I was fortunate enough to be born with the middle finger. In fact, both middle fingers. And today I would like to make full use of them. Here's a huge fuck you with both my middle fingers. You know who you are.
I don't think I have ever felt so frustrated in my life about anything. Today everything that I needed to resolve resulted in frustration. Patience is a virtue I am slowly acquiring. For now though, all I would like to do is tell you all to go fuck yourselves. Leave me out of it.
I don't think I have ever felt so frustrated in my life about anything. Today everything that I needed to resolve resulted in frustration. Patience is a virtue I am slowly acquiring. For now though, all I would like to do is tell you all to go fuck yourselves. Leave me out of it.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Nope
You know when you believe a certain notion/feel a certain way but you try to convince yourself that you believe/feel otherwise?
I tried very very hard to convince myself that I'm ready to leave the US but as the end draws ever nearer, I cannot deny that deep down, I'm really not ready to leave yet.I can't believe it's been almost one year already. I feel like I've just settled in, I have barely scratched the surface of this culture, I haven't even learnt how to juggle doing a thousand things at once like everyone else yet! This whole year has been so much greater than any other years I've spent in university.
I'm going to miss a lot of things after I leave. I'm going to miss waking up 30 minutes before class and still not be late for it. I tried to tell myself that I'll go back to enjoying my 3 hour commuting time everyday but really, that just means 3 hours less of sleep. I'm going to miss walking down library walk and seeing all the stalls. I'm going to miss seeing all these random events around campus and I'm going to miss rocking up to these random events spontaneously. I'm going to miss walking around campus at the dead of the night with friends just enjoying the silence. I'm going to miss walking to Goody's at 12:30am knowing that it's still open and getting some Ben & Jerry's to eat while we watched the stupidest things online. I'm going to miss going to the gym randomly to play racket ball and table tennis. I'm going to miss the privilege of stepping out of my apartment, walking 10 steps and I'll be at a friend's apartment.
But really, what I'm going to miss the most are all the good friends I've made here. I usually don't cry (at least not in public) but when everyone left at the end of last quarter, I cried. Now it's my turn to leave. I will try not to cry but I can't say I will have more control of my tears this time around. This time, I'm gone for good. No more extending (even if I tried), no more trying to make this last longer.
I'm not saying life in Brisbane is bad, it's just that it's a completely different lifestyle here, a better lifestyle. Or let me put it this way, even though I've been away for a whole year now, I don't feel like I've missed much back home, whereas I know that I will feel like I'm missing a lot even after one quarter away from UCSD. Let's just say life here is just that much more interesting and exciting than life back home. This place is better than back home, this place is home.
~~~
This is also suppose to foreshadow another near future event. The inevitable event, as I'd like to call it in my mind.
I tried very very hard to convince myself that I'm ready to leave the US but as the end draws ever nearer, I cannot deny that deep down, I'm really not ready to leave yet.I can't believe it's been almost one year already. I feel like I've just settled in, I have barely scratched the surface of this culture, I haven't even learnt how to juggle doing a thousand things at once like everyone else yet! This whole year has been so much greater than any other years I've spent in university.
I'm going to miss a lot of things after I leave. I'm going to miss waking up 30 minutes before class and still not be late for it. I tried to tell myself that I'll go back to enjoying my 3 hour commuting time everyday but really, that just means 3 hours less of sleep. I'm going to miss walking down library walk and seeing all the stalls. I'm going to miss seeing all these random events around campus and I'm going to miss rocking up to these random events spontaneously. I'm going to miss walking around campus at the dead of the night with friends just enjoying the silence. I'm going to miss walking to Goody's at 12:30am knowing that it's still open and getting some Ben & Jerry's to eat while we watched the stupidest things online. I'm going to miss going to the gym randomly to play racket ball and table tennis. I'm going to miss the privilege of stepping out of my apartment, walking 10 steps and I'll be at a friend's apartment.
But really, what I'm going to miss the most are all the good friends I've made here. I usually don't cry (at least not in public) but when everyone left at the end of last quarter, I cried. Now it's my turn to leave. I will try not to cry but I can't say I will have more control of my tears this time around. This time, I'm gone for good. No more extending (even if I tried), no more trying to make this last longer.
I'm not saying life in Brisbane is bad, it's just that it's a completely different lifestyle here, a better lifestyle. Or let me put it this way, even though I've been away for a whole year now, I don't feel like I've missed much back home, whereas I know that I will feel like I'm missing a lot even after one quarter away from UCSD. Let's just say life here is just that much more interesting and exciting than life back home. This place is better than back home, this place is home.
 |
| Sad Panda :'( |
~~~
This is also suppose to foreshadow another near future event. The inevitable event, as I'd like to call it in my mind.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Running
What the hell?? It's freaking 3am and I'm still not tired??! This is so unusual. Plus I'm only running on less than 6 hours of sleep. Well, whatever it is that I'm running on right now, I wouldn't mind having more so that I can sleep less and still operate properly. Honestly as much as I love sleeping, it is such a time-waster. So if somehow I could train myself to function on say 5 or so hours of sleep every day, I'd be extremely happy because I'd have all these extra hours of awake-ness.
So for the last few weeks I've sort of kept at a constant rate of exercise (i.e. dodgeball mainly) and after all the running I did yesterday, I'm still feeling pretty good and not much soreness. It feels so good to be semi-fit again because I feel like I have so much more energy! Might continue this weekly recreational sport thing going when I head back. Right now I'm thinking either table tennis or racquet ball. Or maybe even Futsal if I can get a team going. Freaking need to stop being so lazy >< I seriously think that my lack of fitness is why I get sick everytime I go back to China (plus the pollution).
Lately I've been reading some zen articles. Today I finally understood and applied a principle in Buddhism. 平常心。以平常心对待一切。我发现真的很有用！Sometimes I think I should just go and become a 尼姑。Might do me some good.
So for the last few weeks I've sort of kept at a constant rate of exercise (i.e. dodgeball mainly) and after all the running I did yesterday, I'm still feeling pretty good and not much soreness. It feels so good to be semi-fit again because I feel like I have so much more energy! Might continue this weekly recreational sport thing going when I head back. Right now I'm thinking either table tennis or racquet ball. Or maybe even Futsal if I can get a team going. Freaking need to stop being so lazy >< I seriously think that my lack of fitness is why I get sick everytime I go back to China (plus the pollution).
Lately I've been reading some zen articles. Today I finally understood and applied a principle in Buddhism. 平常心。以平常心对待一切。我发现真的很有用！Sometimes I think I should just go and become a 尼姑。Might do me some good.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Survival Instincts
Back in the days (and I mean waaaaay back), the sole purpose of a human being was to survive. Everything you did was a step towards ensuring your survival. Not just the survival of you now, but the survival of your future via your genes. The question of "why is survival so important?" is not up to me to decipher, rather I want to note the evolution of our survival techniques.
At the dawn of time, humans, or rather, the female species would handpick a mate to pass their genes on with. The criteria: strong. The male species had to be strong physically: to provide a sense of security for the female and to provide protection for the unborned child. They also had to be strong mentally thus a higher level of colonial leadership is desirable. The techniques used by the female species to attract potential mates were primordial. One example is female species singing to attract a male counterpart.
This topic of thought stemmed from last night while I (or should I say everyone else but I) was preparing for a ball on a cruise ship (sounding fancy already). The ball was scheduled to start at midnight but I had to be ready for rides by 10pm. The morning of the ball, I went shopping with a couple of friends for a dress (yes I know, the usual last minute dash even for something like this). I found not one, but two dresses which I bought. (Mind you, I only bought two because I had no idea which one would look better and the friends I went shopping with weren't exactly the biggest fashion experts I knew. So I took them both figuring I will have a better chance of finding a "right dress".) I thought about getting a jacket with the dress since I anticipated that it will be freezing on a boat at that time of the night. Except I couldn't find anything that suited or was within my price range, so I decided to risk it and hope that I can borrow something from someone. That was me done for the ball prep - shoes (flats I bought for an interview), dress and coat. I was set.
At 9pm that night, I figured it was almost time to get ready for the ball. In my mind I had everything planned out, 5 minutes to throw on the dress, 1 minute to put on the flats, I managed to borrow a coat from my roommate which will take me another minute to put on, then 5 minutes to try and do something with what I call "my Harry Potter hair" (because like Harry's hair, mine always grows back to the way it was within a very short time frame of getting a haircut.). Done. 12 minutes. That gives me plenty of time to stroll my way across the school to where the ride pickups were.
So at 9:11pm, I walked back to my apartment to grab all the things I needed (which wasn't much). I was getting dressed at friends' apartment, which by the way, was filled with girls (and a guy). Mistake number one, if you are me, never get dressed for anything fancy with female friends. Since none of them were going to the ball, they decided that it would make up for their non-attendance by dressing me up. Great. Girls + any fancy occasion = dress + heels + makeup + hair + purse/handbag (+ date?). The only good thing I see out of it was that it could be summed up in a nice mathematical statement.
Actually happenings:
9:15pm: Walked back into friends' apartment. Tried on one dress (which everyone except one thought was the better choice), got opinions, was exhorted into trying on the second dress. In my head: do I have to??? Fine, second dress goes on. General approval. Next step!
9:25pm: Flats. Collective disapproval. Jezli brings down one of her favourite pair of heels. ashlasdgoh! I had a slight heart attack when I saw that thing. It was freaking higher than the Eiffel Tower! My heart furiously prayed that I wouldn't fit into those heels. Nope, no such luck. Perfect fit. These heels are dangerous in more than one way: dangerously high and dangerously painful (latter part I did not find out until I walked in them for 30 minutes). I guess this is what people call a pair of "killer heels". You literally could kill someone with that, if the pain of wearing it doesn't kill you first.
9:33pm: Makeup time. Alice: "let's put makeup on Rui!" -_- Thanks mate. Since I don't own any makeup, Hyun brought out her makeup kit. Drew some stuff on my eyes. "Open eyes." "Close eyes." "Look up." "Don't blink." I still haven't figured out what all the different eye products do: eyeliner, mascara, and whatever else there is out there. All I know is that my eyes were tearing up from all these disturbances to its perpetual peace. I'll remind myself to tell my past self the answer to "why do females do this to their eyes?" if I ever stumble upon the answer. Fortunately, no foundation and all that other face stuff was necessary because my skin was deemed acceptable without it. Excellent, that would've taken another 15 minutes I'm sure.
9:45pm: Hyun brings out her straightener. Jo brings down her hair curler. Hyun attempts to do something about my hair, couldn't handle its Potter-ness, hands over to Jezli who spents a good 15+ minutes trying to make it curl inward at the ends. Meanwhile, I was trying to talk my way out of those killer heels. Jo brought down her pair of shorter (but still just as high as the Eiffel Tower) heels. Damn feet wouldn't fit. Fine, keeping the killer heels. Also, a friend who was going to the ball texts when I will be ready. Me: "Soon, hopefully."
9:55pm: I send Alice to my apartment to try and find my ticket and get my other handbag. Thanks mate! (No sarcasm intended this time.)
10:03pm: Ready to leave. Hold up, photo time! Fail, I don't think I'll ever make it into the modeling world if simply for my lack of poses.
10:05pm: Packs the pair of flats into my handbag, puts on killer heels and wobbles like a drunkard out of the apartment, mumbling "no thanks" to Seto's offer to drive me to where the rides were. No point in wasting these killer heels and gas, I thought.
10:11pm: Takes me a whole friggin' 6 minutes to walk down/wobble along (that latter is more accurate, I'd say) the stretch of I-Walk to the Great Hall where my friend was waiting.
10:25pm: I am usually never late for things, on time, but never late.Tonight was an exception.
When I finally got into a car to go to downtown, my feet were already ready for its obituary. I really really do not know how Jezli walks in these but I admire her bravery/skill. I think I spent a majority of the night noting down what all the girls were wearing: their dresses, their makeup , and their heels. I don't know how long these girls invested in finding a dress and how much they paid for it, all I know was that there wasn't really a dress that I thought stood out definitively. I actually have no idea how to spot the difference between good and bad makeup; only the difference between none, just right or overkill. Some people had serious overkill. I think mine was overkill also. And the heels. I think the killer heels were pretty up there in height but seriously, not long into the night, a lot of the girls were already walking bare-footed with heels in hand. I made it into 3/4 of the night before I gave up on murdering my feet.
This leads to the question of "why put all this time, effort and money into dressing up for such an event?". I'll tell you why, underneath all that disguise, it's really just your subconscious basic survival instincts trying to attract that coveted male counterpart. The criteria might be slightly more detailed and finicky, the tools by which the female species use to attract potential candidates are slightly more sophisticated and versatile, nonetheless, in the end, it's just your instincts telling you that you need to pass on your genes via some worthy person. Lust, love? Whatever, these are just words invented by the human kind to disguise the drab reality that is survival. Then again, I think that humans have now evolved to a point where survival is just a side dish to compliment the main course, the main course is to live, love and enjoy. Apparently all that preparation is part of living, loving and enjoying.
I guess I'm not living, loving and enjoying my life then. Or perhaps I lack the basic survival instincts. What do you think is the case?
(This could lead to some interesting experiments. I think it's time to become a guinea pig. For the sake of human kind.)
At the dawn of time, humans, or rather, the female species would handpick a mate to pass their genes on with. The criteria: strong. The male species had to be strong physically: to provide a sense of security for the female and to provide protection for the unborned child. They also had to be strong mentally thus a higher level of colonial leadership is desirable. The techniques used by the female species to attract potential mates were primordial. One example is female species singing to attract a male counterpart.
This topic of thought stemmed from last night while I (or should I say everyone else but I) was preparing for a ball on a cruise ship (sounding fancy already). The ball was scheduled to start at midnight but I had to be ready for rides by 10pm. The morning of the ball, I went shopping with a couple of friends for a dress (yes I know, the usual last minute dash even for something like this). I found not one, but two dresses which I bought. (Mind you, I only bought two because I had no idea which one would look better and the friends I went shopping with weren't exactly the biggest fashion experts I knew. So I took them both figuring I will have a better chance of finding a "right dress".) I thought about getting a jacket with the dress since I anticipated that it will be freezing on a boat at that time of the night. Except I couldn't find anything that suited or was within my price range, so I decided to risk it and hope that I can borrow something from someone. That was me done for the ball prep - shoes (flats I bought for an interview), dress and coat. I was set.
At 9pm that night, I figured it was almost time to get ready for the ball. In my mind I had everything planned out, 5 minutes to throw on the dress, 1 minute to put on the flats, I managed to borrow a coat from my roommate which will take me another minute to put on, then 5 minutes to try and do something with what I call "my Harry Potter hair" (because like Harry's hair, mine always grows back to the way it was within a very short time frame of getting a haircut.). Done. 12 minutes. That gives me plenty of time to stroll my way across the school to where the ride pickups were.
So at 9:11pm, I walked back to my apartment to grab all the things I needed (which wasn't much). I was getting dressed at friends' apartment, which by the way, was filled with girls (and a guy). Mistake number one, if you are me, never get dressed for anything fancy with female friends. Since none of them were going to the ball, they decided that it would make up for their non-attendance by dressing me up. Great. Girls + any fancy occasion = dress + heels + makeup + hair + purse/handbag (+ date?). The only good thing I see out of it was that it could be summed up in a nice mathematical statement.
Actually happenings:
9:15pm: Walked back into friends' apartment. Tried on one dress (which everyone except one thought was the better choice), got opinions, was exhorted into trying on the second dress. In my head: do I have to??? Fine, second dress goes on. General approval. Next step!
9:25pm: Flats. Collective disapproval. Jezli brings down one of her favourite pair of heels. ashlasdgoh! I had a slight heart attack when I saw that thing. It was freaking higher than the Eiffel Tower! My heart furiously prayed that I wouldn't fit into those heels. Nope, no such luck. Perfect fit. These heels are dangerous in more than one way: dangerously high and dangerously painful (latter part I did not find out until I walked in them for 30 minutes). I guess this is what people call a pair of "killer heels". You literally could kill someone with that, if the pain of wearing it doesn't kill you first.
9:33pm: Makeup time. Alice: "let's put makeup on Rui!" -_- Thanks mate. Since I don't own any makeup, Hyun brought out her makeup kit. Drew some stuff on my eyes. "Open eyes." "Close eyes." "Look up." "Don't blink." I still haven't figured out what all the different eye products do: eyeliner, mascara, and whatever else there is out there. All I know is that my eyes were tearing up from all these disturbances to its perpetual peace. I'll remind myself to tell my past self the answer to "why do females do this to their eyes?" if I ever stumble upon the answer. Fortunately, no foundation and all that other face stuff was necessary because my skin was deemed acceptable without it. Excellent, that would've taken another 15 minutes I'm sure.
9:45pm: Hyun brings out her straightener. Jo brings down her hair curler. Hyun attempts to do something about my hair, couldn't handle its Potter-ness, hands over to Jezli who spents a good 15+ minutes trying to make it curl inward at the ends. Meanwhile, I was trying to talk my way out of those killer heels. Jo brought down her pair of shorter (but still just as high as the Eiffel Tower) heels. Damn feet wouldn't fit. Fine, keeping the killer heels. Also, a friend who was going to the ball texts when I will be ready. Me: "Soon, hopefully."
9:55pm: I send Alice to my apartment to try and find my ticket and get my other handbag. Thanks mate! (No sarcasm intended this time.)
10:03pm: Ready to leave. Hold up, photo time! Fail, I don't think I'll ever make it into the modeling world if simply for my lack of poses.
10:05pm: Packs the pair of flats into my handbag, puts on killer heels and wobbles like a drunkard out of the apartment, mumbling "no thanks" to Seto's offer to drive me to where the rides were. No point in wasting these killer heels and gas, I thought.
10:11pm: Takes me a whole friggin' 6 minutes to walk down/wobble along (that latter is more accurate, I'd say) the stretch of I-Walk to the Great Hall where my friend was waiting.
10:25pm: I am usually never late for things, on time, but never late.Tonight was an exception.
When I finally got into a car to go to downtown, my feet were already ready for its obituary. I really really do not know how Jezli walks in these but I admire her bravery/skill. I think I spent a majority of the night noting down what all the girls were wearing: their dresses, their makeup , and their heels. I don't know how long these girls invested in finding a dress and how much they paid for it, all I know was that there wasn't really a dress that I thought stood out definitively. I actually have no idea how to spot the difference between good and bad makeup; only the difference between none, just right or overkill. Some people had serious overkill. I think mine was overkill also. And the heels. I think the killer heels were pretty up there in height but seriously, not long into the night, a lot of the girls were already walking bare-footed with heels in hand. I made it into 3/4 of the night before I gave up on murdering my feet.
This leads to the question of "why put all this time, effort and money into dressing up for such an event?". I'll tell you why, underneath all that disguise, it's really just your subconscious basic survival instincts trying to attract that coveted male counterpart. The criteria might be slightly more detailed and finicky, the tools by which the female species use to attract potential candidates are slightly more sophisticated and versatile, nonetheless, in the end, it's just your instincts telling you that you need to pass on your genes via some worthy person. Lust, love? Whatever, these are just words invented by the human kind to disguise the drab reality that is survival. Then again, I think that humans have now evolved to a point where survival is just a side dish to compliment the main course, the main course is to live, love and enjoy. Apparently all that preparation is part of living, loving and enjoying.
I guess I'm not living, loving and enjoying my life then. Or perhaps I lack the basic survival instincts. What do you think is the case?
(This could lead to some interesting experiments. I think it's time to become a guinea pig. For the sake of human kind.)
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Fate
In a previous post, I stated that I do not believe in fate. Of course, like many things, what I say is not exactly what I believe. Just now, a very tiny but self-induced connection occurred in my head. The afterthought associated with this event is extremely amusing though. Kind of made me think that this is all fate.
I randomly started playing Hangman on a website and the first time I played, the word (that I did not get) reminded me of so many things. Maybe you can take a guess at the word: _ _ I _ _ _. Hint: there's an i in there somewhere. Basically after I got over my "damn it!" moment, my afterthought was: "Man, this IS the death of me!". The subject of this word has been bothering me for quite a while now!
I think in the end as a friend reminded me, everything happens for a reason. Lessons can be learnt from this.
~
I randomly started playing Hangman on a website and the first time I played, the word (that I did not get) reminded me of so many things. Maybe you can take a guess at the word: _ _ I _ _ _. Hint: there's an i in there somewhere. Basically after I got over my "damn it!" moment, my afterthought was: "Man, this IS the death of me!". The subject of this word has been bothering me for quite a while now!
I think in the end as a friend reminded me, everything happens for a reason. Lessons can be learnt from this.
~
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