I think we all have had issues at one point or another with being alone or feeling alone. A lot of people probably feel ashamed in some respect to say that they are lonely? I know I have at one stage felt that way too. But we all have to realise that the need to be with people and not feel alone is very much human nature. We can't help feeling that way no matter how much we try to suppress that feeling.
The concept of being lonely is actually rather complex (at least to me it is). I feel that part of a song's lyrics perfectly describes how I feel about the concept of loneliness.
“孤单是一个人的狂欢。狂欢是一群人的孤单”
Translation (please excuse my amateur translations):
"Loneliness is one person's joyousness. Joyousness is a group of people's loneliness."
A lot of the times I enjoy being alone and not having to deal with people. Dealing with people and handling various types of relationships is definitely not one of my strengths. Though I suppose we are all a work in progress in this department, it's just that I feel like I started to work on this part of myself rather late so I always feel like I am behind.
However, there have been numerous times when I have felt rather alone. I believe this is a combination of me being not very good at relationship-building and also chose to and is not very good at expressing how I really feel. The reason (or at least what I think is the reason) for the two factors is for another post. Anyhow, the point is I am not very good with words, especially words of expression. So since I cannot accurately describe how I feel most of the time, I just chose not to so as to save me the pain of explaining.
My personal remedy for feeling alone is listening to music because I usually find the lyrics aptly describe how I feel, which is why I use lyrics to express myself a lot on here. Also because I find that if I just let myself fully submerge in that feeling of loneliness for a few hours, I can better detach myself from that feeling later.
I believe that the normal remedy for other more normal people is talking to friends. Most people use the term "best friends". I will be telling the truth when I say that I have never had a "best friend" because I've always believed that you cannot distinguish that one friend is "better" than another. The term also gives me the connotation that if you are "best friends" then you are exclusive. I don't believe friendship should be exclusive. I prefer the term "close friends" to "best friends". Sorry for the detour, what I really wanted to say is that I have always felt that expressing such sentiments openly leaves me exposed and vulnerable. It's not that I don't trust my friends, it's more that I don't trust society.
I am now getting better at being all exposed and vulnerable but I still sometimes try to side step feeling vulnerable by using "substitutive terms" to loneliness such as boredom. But really we all know loneliness and boredom is not quite the same. My nature is to be passive so you gotta be proactive with me or I'll just keep avoiding it.
Actually I've always wondered whether other people feel the same way. You're at a large party/group gathering during which you are very high and interactive. But as soon as you leave the crowd, you feel empty, 空虚。Sometimes this makes me wonder what it is I really want. I think the answer is you don't need a lot of friends, you just need a few close friends.
I will leave you with a quote I stole today while watching a father teach his children the lessons of life (as in this was from YouTube).
“财富不是一辈子的朋友，朋友绝对是你一辈子的财富。”
"Money and treasure is not a lifelong friend but friends are a lifelong treasure for sure."
