Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Complex, Vast but Beautiful

I have a midterm in 1 day. I have procrastinated my entire 2 days away. As much as I try to focus on the imminent task, my heart and my mind is just not here. Firstly, it is incredibly frustrating that it's taking me so long to understand these concepts and all the equations I need. Secondly, I am so over studying these days. I am not interested in what we are learning, full stop. And right now it really is not a top priority of mine, as weird as that sounds.

I'm graduating at the end of this year. That means it's time to really contemplate what I should do once I graduate (provided I don't fail anything). I have given so much thought into this over the past year and even more so the last few months. There are just so many options out there: work, travel, volunteer, more study, start my own business? After rationally (fine, sometime irrationally) going through each option I have finally come to the conclusion that the only practical option I have at this point is to work. Which brings me back to my procrastination. Because I am always worrying about hearing back from companies, I am always thinking of back up plans in case I can't find a job. The problem is that I can't do anything about this anymore because I have finished sending in all my applications so now all I can do is worry. I know I really shouldn't let this get in my head but I really think the rest of my life depends on finding this first job. (Okay, a tad exaggeration but it feels like it does.)

But that is not what this post is supposed to be about. So during one of my (many) procrastination bouts, I decided to dust off the cobwebs on my blogging world. I caught up on some of the new posts that friends have posted during my absence. I have had a blog for many years now, I have always enjoyed writing blog posts. I have always loved reading other people's blog posts because I think it's such a great avenue to get to know that person on a different level. Some people express a sense of humour that they never show in person, others take the mickey out of everything, some contemplate life in a more serious way, and some use their blog as a way to raise awareness of issues they feel are important in the world. Whatever the purpose is, it is fascinating to see the thoughts that go on in each person's head. 

Today, reading all these blog posts, it made me realise (even though it's such an obvious thing) and appreciate just how different every person is, yet how we all have the same thoughts and go through the same emotions. I like that everyone has the same vulnerable thoughts about themselves, I like that we all appreciate the same small things in life and I like that we all have the same big (but different) futures we have painted for ourselves. I realised that we are all just trying to survive, trying to make our life that much better and that much more unique. It gives me life to see there is so much life out there. Nobody told us life was going to be cruisy, nobody said it will be sunshine everyday, and certainly nobody put in a definition of life that is has to predictable. So whatever you do (or don't do), just never forget to live.

2 comments:

  1. Love this post. And don't worry about the job thing. As much as it doesn't seem like it, parents are there to pick you up. Sure it might not be pleasant, but you sound like you need the time. :) Good luck!

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  2. I like your blog posts too~~ You should write more often =]
    Just a warning if you ever decide to start your own business: Writing up business plans and doing financial statements are a massive pain!! (but on the plus side, when I know what I'm doing, I feel sorta pro and manager-y)

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