Indecisive

Whatever Jescka said about me being indecisive hit the nail on the head. Then again, I have this innate stubbornness that sometimes gets in the way. I no longer have that much time on my hand but I'm now making time to think about these things.

虽然我写的是悲，可是我不悲。
虽然我写的很多，可是只有几句才是我最想说的。
虽然我说的不多，可是我想法不少。
虽然我认为是错的，可是我还是做了。(Just because I can?)

Speaking in riddles again. I find amusement in that, sometimes content. Oftentimes what I do conflicts what I want. Or rather, what I want fluctuates, oscillates like a sin/cos function. This is the indecisiveness that Jescka speaks of.

又或者我根本不需要。人需要些什么？生或是活？你，我，他？传统，习惯还是个性？性格是你的还是别人的？原则可以改变吗？变了就代表你不够坚定吗？当你有你的坚持为何说是你倔强？错了是不可以弥补的，对的就一定要鼓掌吗？发生在他人身上的就一定会发生在你身上吗？问那么多干吗？反正不同的人有不相同的答案。为什么我这么介意所听的答案？

最近开始阅读林夕(老爷)写的 “原来你非不快乐”。还没看多少，但是已经有不少的佛理。夕爷写给千嬅最有佛性的逃不过 “电光幻影”，当中有两句我今天终于明白是什么意思了。人存在只想为了求证。而遗憾都只为了求证。

Perhaps that is why we are living (or maybe just surviving)? To prove ourselves. To prove what we believe is true. To prove we exist.