In The Mist of Everything

Moved back into the one and only International House on Friday night. The minute my friend and I approached Pangea, I could tell I-House hasn't changed one bit (except for the cleanliness which I'm sure won't last long). Picture this: Friday night, dance lights flashing, DJ spinning the track, many people on the rooftop mingling, a few dancing, most drinking. That is I-House for you. Albeit, the normal house parties are not quite as classy as that. Maybe try no rooftop (unless you managed to befriend an exchange scholar or is drunk enough to stumble your way up to the roof); no DJ, just loud sometimes shitty music coming out from speakers that can't handle bass of any kind; a few more drunkards dancing around in the middle of the living room. Yep, that's the norm here in I-House.

First I-House party (for me personally) this year last night. First times are always a little more awkward. It was interesting to observe all the new students trying to mingle and find amongst those present people who might share the smallest sign of common interest. Since most people usually come in during the fall quarter and stay the whole year, by the time winter quarter came around (which was the time I joined) everyone pretty much knew everyone else. So it was rather amusing to see and feel this new type of vibe at I-House parties, everyone is starting to meet other people.

I met a few people, I guess in particular one Irish dude who I insisted on meeting when I found out he was Irish. It was only because I love Irish accents plus my rather strange liking for leprechauns (they're excessively green, okay.). Errr, so I'm pretty sure it was random and overboard but I still asked him whether he's seen leprechauns around. It's kind of like when people ask if us Aussies really ride kangaroos to school. No, we don't.

I also got to see a friend who just came back from exchange in Cambridge. It's always nice to catch up. Met my good friend's housemate who lived in Estonia, went on exchange to Sweden and sort of stayed there. Haha, that gave me a few ideas. I talked to her for an hour, getting to know Sweden which by the way sounds like a great place to live (minus the cold). After talking to her and the friend who went on exchange England, it just made me want to go on a second exchange even more, and perhaps stay at that country. It'd be sweet. I'm starting to formulate a plan to make that happen.

Afterwards I was just about to shower and hit the sack but then another friend dropped by so we talked for another hour. I always enjoy talking to this friend, he is hella funny and very casual. The way he tells his stories are also extremely entertaining. He really is a funny one.

Now I'm just awake. Nighttime for me is always the most active time for the emotional side of my brain to put the wheels in action. Alas, I have nothing to say about this current situation. It's... I don't know how I did not see this coming, how I did not predict the outcome. It was foolish of me, naive and foolish and certainly went against my better conscience. Well after finding out a few things, it's no longer against my better conscience, rather I would say it is against rational. I really was not thinking of what it could take away from me at the time, now I'm not sure the benefits I will get are worth what I have given up. I don't think I'm going to try and redeem myself though. (I'm not even helping with this post via the choice of words essentially but it conveys what I want the best.)

Thus in the mist of it all, I'm stuck. It's almost like an illusion. I hoping to elude the world on what's happening inside my world but at the same time I know exactly what's happening in the world. As much as I am in the wrong, I am selfishly enjoying this sense of mystery and the sense of power I have over these things. Welcome to a day in my life, not as you know it.